‘Mourning is a process of reconciliation in which the dead person is retrospectively granted the right to die’  Alamy

A large part of our grief at the loss of someone we love is to do with them leaving without our permission. Hence we feel outraged, angry, despairing – an illogical response, yes, how dare they go and leave us here, leave us behind? The gravestone has no writing on it, for what is there to say even after all this time? Words, images, symbols can only touch the edges of loss but I try anyway. Sometimes it works, sometimes the image speaks back, is spot-on. Mourning is a process..

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